A Circus in the Making: Meeting Announcement: Information Session!

A Circus in the Making: Meeting Announcement: Information Session!: Are you an SLC student/friend and interested in performing in the circus project? Come hear more about it and meet us! Our first meeting o...

Origin Date: 14 June 2006: Age 14

10:32am
Gilmore Girls! reminds me a lot of TTYL... which is just as good a book as I remember it! Though I still haven't started reading adult books... sigh, w/e I got accepted to ACT! YEAH!!
Plus, it's gonna cost less cuz the class I had to go to instead is cheaper! Plus I get to have an ID card and a security code and a hand book! Like college or something! EEAAAH! This is so a big step for me, I just can't wait! Next Monday! giggle!


NOTE:
ACT stands for the American Conservatory Theater in San Francisco where they have a summer youth program.

Origin Date: 23 May 2006: Age 14

9:30am
School is now boring, but birthdays are awesome!
The party was a big success! We had to deal with Zack getting there late, us having to leave early, and no other guys coming, lol. Paolo did ask me to get him a vintage style t-shirt, but we never found one that would be appropriate for school, him, and in the right size...
There was one that said "smile if you're gay" but we knew he'd never wear it, so I put it on, smiled, and they took at picture. We still have to show him that.

NOTE:
I vacillated between feeling over and feeling in love with Paolo. I also graduated from middle school. Boring.

Origin Date: 12 May 2006: Age 13

4:12pm
My life is fucked:
1) I am in a scene where I have to kiss Paolo for the school enrichment performance
2) He is not with Christi anymore but he likes Marie
3) I told him I didn't like Connor
4) He really understood, but didn't seem to care anymore
5) He seems ok with the kiss thing but is worries about what people are going to think— I said I didn't care (only care what he thinks...)

GOD!! I am just as pathetic as I was last summer! It's going to be the same situation: I break up with Connor and spend all summer pining for Paolo. I don't think I'll move on till high school... Nicole's brother is totally hot... I told Con that once and he freaked... if I can't get advice from Becca by the end of this weekend I will be forced to ask for advice from Anno... I'll tell her I don't think I want to start anything right now and I'm not even sure I like him... that she will have to accept and help me with, as opposed to if I just said I didn't like him... or should I tell Brina?

Origin Date: 11 May 2006: Age 13

8:42pm
So I stayed home... I couldn't really sleep the last hour I was in bed because I kept swallowing and the pain of that on my throat woke me up so I just read.
Mom thinks it might just be allergies, but I know it was more yesterday and the day before, so I would think it was the same today... I have to email Mr. Duncan about my history project, finish my poetry book, and type the stuff for my science project... Sigh, I'll start at 9 when the good cartoons stop playing...
11:03
I bet if I told all my friends that I was a lesbian, or bi, that they wouldn't even be phased. I bet they'd go, "Oh, well we always suspected..." sigh.
I think I'll meet Connor at a Starbucks the Friday before the week of graduation and maybe kiss him and then break up with him cuz I don't want us to be together for the graduation dance, that would be too weird...

NOTE:
What is "too weird" is the way I wrote about people.

Origin Date: 9 May 2006: Age 13

9:51pm
I talked to my mom last night about the thing with Venti [dad] and we agreed he is a childish hypocrite who needs to go back to therapy and if he has another blow up like this I will consider adjusting the time I spend with him because he's just always using the excuse that he overreacted and is under stress, you know what? Me too! and so is the rest of the world but we try not to let it affect the other parts of our lives and I am now done talking about this distasteful subject.
9:56pm
I have decided to try harder with Connor; what if he's the one and I let it fail because I'm pining over someone who doesn't like me... Which leads to another thing, Paolo says he likes someone besides Christi and that she is one of the biggest bitches at our school.
He wouldn't tell me who, which makes me suspicious but I almost don't want to be the girl if it means that he thinks I'm a bitch... hmm
Maybe Marie? I duno, I think he thinks Zack and I are gonna tell people or something cuz we made one joke about him not thinking Em's boobs were big, behind his back (the joke of course) and he got really upset... Weird, I know.
10:02pm
my hand is all sweaty
did I mention I'm sick?
Ya, last night right before bed I started feeling terrible— I had a headache, congestion, chills, nausea, and so today I went to school for testing and then my dad came to get me—
I just drew a bleeding heart on my leg—
Why does everyone have to think I'm depressed? I mean, I guess I sort of am, but I hate being the goth girl, and I'm not supposed to be... I mean I have a nice bf and all but I'm still depressed...hmm
I have to write a couple more poems for my book, so I think I'll work on that, maybe I'll be cheery, ha!
:)

Stepping over puddles
avoiding your problems
trying to get away with things
only looking at your gems

never recognizing
the problems that you face
or trying to put them out of mind
so you don't have the space?

How about when your son
commits suicide
is it your problem then?

Just tell me what the deciding factor is
and then I will know when

to let you down nice and hard
and tell you your problem.

NOTE:
Previous entries concerning Connor and Paolo eliminated because stupid and embarrassing. I like the randomness of these.

Origin Date: 30 December 2005: Age 13

Wow, so like I haven't like written anything in here for months! It is now the day before New Year's Eve... it's been sooo long! Soooo much has happened...
I had a surprise party for Anno in Aug. and Halloween party in October! (duh)
Anno's was awesome, like I went to a movie with her and then we came back to my house and had an awesome birthday party... it was a good time.
The HW party was a blast! We watched stupid movies and then went trick-or-treating... but the funny thing was the fact that when Connor came, Ty was with him! and like I never even told him I was having a party... later, when we were watching TV and Paolo was the only guy left, and he's like, "So did you invite Tyler?" and I'm all like, "Um no, did you?" and he's like "I actually think I may have...
[some dialogue omitted due to stupidity]
So I finally got it sorted out that Paolo mentioned it, then Ty asked Con for a ride, so Con assumed that Ty was invited.
Anyway, so two weekends ago I had a party for the holidays (I'm now using Sarah's pen) and like we went down to 7-11 @ 10pm and got coffee, so Anno, Sarah, & Ash and I stayed up all night. Avery got like an hour or so of sleep, and Maya and Brina slept for like 3-4 hours. Man, Anno & Sarah and I went to SF the next day and had lunch with my mom and then went to Japan Town and took pics in the photo booth there! And then we fell asleep in the car on the way home...

NOTE:
The sheer number of times the word "like" is used should indicate how excited I was about all of these parties. Also, this entry was written while I was at a friend's party. Ironic.